And so my journey to reconciliation begins…“In order to understand the need for the importance of reconciliation, I must first know the truth” (Speaking Our Truth: a Journey of Reconciliation, 2017). Learning the truth about residential schools is hard to hear, likely the reason many use to excuse their ignorance. Yet, ignoring the trauma caused to our indigenous people further perpetuates the pain and creates an even deeper divide. My education was no exception to ease in ignorance. I never experienced powerful teaching around residential schools. I feel heavy just thinking about the wasted opportunity not teaching kids, who hold open minds and hearts, about their history…our history. In the last 3 years, I have started to understand my white privilege and the inequities that exist for our indigenous youth. Learning of the young indigenous boys who were stripped of their braids, their names and their families brought me to tears and became central to my aesthetic response. They were denied their identity, one of the most basic human rights. It hasn’t been until this course that I have felt implored to check my biases and make changes. In this essay, I am going to unpack my research journey, highlight the Truth and Reconciliation ‘Calls to Action” and share my commitment to action. This is where my change begins!
The more I learn, the more I realize I have to learn. I have discovered much of the research around Residential Schools is presented in story format. I think this is wise as we not only need to learn, but also be implored to take action. These stories grip at the heart. In the book, “Speaking Our Truth” by Monique G. Smith, she describes a journey as something that we go on in an attempt to understand something in a deeper way. She eloquently reminds us that a journey usually will change us. While reading this I immediately connected and realized I am on my own journey of reconciliation. Although my work and learning are just beginning, I know there is an urgency burning within me that will create lasting change in the way I learn, live and teach. I knew about residential schools, but until now my knowledge has been surface level. Even after sharing many discussions with people immersed in education, reading countless articles, watching many tearful videos and some videos of hope, I realized the impact residential schools have had can not be learned overnight. Thinking about my privilege, unlearning biases and learning through stories is just the first step. It was resources such as “Shattering The Silence”(2017) and “Garnet’s Journey”(2012) that elicited an emotional response so deep that I shared them with my family so we could unpack the stories together. These stories were raw, traumatic, yet filled with hope. As I researched, I began to understand why there is violence, unsettling behaviour, poor attendance and starvation that exists within areas highly populated with indigenous people. I have learned the impacts of being surrounded by anger, fear and death. The person speaking at the beginning of “Shattering The Silence”(2017) stated “Inside you feel that you are dying too, but it isn’t physical; it’s something else that is dying, something you can’t identify and there is no one to make you well.” (Shattering the Silence: The Hidden History of Residential Schools In Saskatchewan, 2017). Hearing the perspective from a person with direct experience living in dormitories shook me to the core. I am now beginning to understand the intergenerational trauma that consists in indigenous families/communities. As I learned in psychology, the early years in a child’s life are those that are most important to their development. When children are raised in unsuitable conditions, it is deemed okay to act out because of their learned behaviour. I experienced a lightbulb moment when I learned that the stereotype of indigenous crime originated from the trauma caused by their past, starting in 1815 with the policy designed by Europeans to “civilize the Indian” (Shattering the Silence: The Hidden History of Residential Schools In Saskatchewan, 2017). My research has shown me that we must take responsibility for the actions of our European ancestors and we must learn to join together to heal the trauma that occurred by the cultural genocide of our past.
“Education is what got us here and it is education that will get us out” (Education is key to reconciliation, 2016). Murray Sinclair is one of the most predominant indigenous rights advocates fighting for justice to create large-scale action so our indigenous people can heal from the trauma caused by the residential school system. One of his most prominent statements, “Reconciliation is not an aboriginal problem. It’s a Canadian one.”(Reconciliation is not an aboriginal problem, it is a Canadian problem. It involves all of us, 2015) makes it clear that we all need to be part of the action. The urgency behind his words and learning the truth about the intergenerational trauma that exists today makes it paramount for all educators to take risks and teach the things we may be uncomfortable with if we want to break the cycle of trauma for our idigenous youth. The truth is hard. The words circling my aesthetic response were hard just to write down, I can’t fathom living this. Murray Sinclair’s Truth and Reconciliation – 94 Calls to Action, were written for the people of Canada to take action. This includes the education system. I commit to 62 “Make [an] age-appropriate curriculum on residential schools, treaties and aboriginal peoples historical and contemporary contributions to Canada a mandatory education requirement for kindergarten to grade 12” (Shattering the Silence: The Hidden History of Residential Schools In Saskatchewan, 2017). I will ensure no child comes through my classroom without seeing themselves in my environment and my curriculum. Just as Sinclair stated, it is education that is going to get us out of the mess. “Reconciliation is not to forgive and forget but to remember and change”(Truth and Reconciliation report brings calls for action, not words, 2015)
Reconciliation begins with me. I am becoming comfortable with my own insecurities and know that each step forward is part of my learning journey. Because I was never taught in a way that elicited an emotional connection, I felt separate from our history. Yet, I now understand the critical role that teachers play in the healing and rebuilding of relationships between us and the indigenous. I will literally never forget “Garnet’s Journey”(2012), he is the only survivor I have ever heard speak. The opportunity to hear the words of a man who was taken from home at the age of 7, resonated with me and through the hurt came the desire to want to be a leader for my future learners. My fire is lit, I will create a safe environment where my students will celebrate their identity, where all kids will learn about our past and be part of the change. I am grateful to have reflected, researched, read the calls to action, which helped me see there is hope in healing. A journey starts with a single step. Today, I am one step closer to becoming part of the solution.