i) Normative narratives

In Taylor’s story, she talks about how when she moved in with her boyfriend people expected her to be the perfect little housewife because she enjoys cooking and cleaning. These statements frustrated her as they reinforce the false narrative that as a woman all she is meant to do is cook and clean for a man. I admire how she admits that she does enjoy cooking and cleaning but she does not do them for her boyfriend. As she says “A woman whose sole purpose wasn’t cooking and cleaning”. I think it is important to point out that she seems defensive on her stance, in that she feels the need to say she is “not really the kind of person to get offended easily”. She even admits that she “can take the odd sexist joke”. She wants to make sure the audience understands that she is not uptight, and then she will let some sexism fly. I think this is interesting as it re-enforces the idea that a woman reacting to a sexist comment negatively means she can’t take a joke when in reality she has the right to point out that any sexist comment is not funny. I think it’s interesting that she says she will let some sexist jokes slide personally, I have very little tolerance for such ‘jokes’.

In Lovelee’s story, she talks about the comments she heard some parents say at a Taekwondo Tournament. She was competing against their son and one of the parents commented how they hope they don’t hear any complaints about her getting a fake injury because their son beat up a girl. She decided to keep silent and prove herself in the ring. I can relate to people thinking less of my physical capabilities because I am a girl. I understand the frustration she feels when her “hands start trembling out of frustration”. At the end of the story she says that she “does [Taekwondo} for the fun of it and [she] shouldn’t have to prove [herself] because of her gender” and she is 100% right. It is incredibly boring as a female to feel that I need to constantly be proving myself in fear that if I don’t I will be looked down upon. I think there is a slight undertone that the parents are embarrassed that their son lost to a girl. She says that she sees his parents standing in the shack as they comfort their son’s over his loss. From this, I kinda picked up the sense that the parents are comforting him for two reasons. The first is because they lost. The second is because he lost to a girl. Not only is the boy’s pride wounded but the parents as well. I think the parents also feel some level of shame for their assumptions.

Francois’s story is about him walking his female friend home at night. As they are talking she thanks him for walking her. He doesn’t think much of it, but then realises she is grateful because she does not feel safe on the streets alone. I picked this story because I feel like it analyzes the privileges men have over women. Francois points out that “sometimes being a guy meant that by default [he] did not have to worry”. This contrasts with his friend who feels like she even needs someone to go to the grocery store with. I can relate to his friend a lot. I hate going places by myself because you never know what terrible things could be waiting around the corner. There’s power in numbers, and so if I go out I usually try to get at least one friend to go out with me. Francois points out that he thought her fear was ridiculous at first because they are both made of the same stuff. He could just as easily be attacked, but then he comes to realise that they have had different experiences due to their genders. He can never truly understand her fear, but he can be sympathetic towards her and try his best to make her feel safe. While this story plays into the narrative that women are defenseless I can’t blame the girl in his story for wanting someone to walk home with. The truth is she is at a greater risk of being attacked if she is alone.

ii) Creating counter-stories: Disrupting normative narratives

Out of these three stories, I think that Lovelee’s is the best at breaking normative narratives. She is dealing with sexism and prejudice from the parents of her opponent. I think the parents are exhibiting traits of benevolent sexism. Benevolent sexism is not hostile in nature. It places women in a position where they should be protected and supported (tekanji, 2007). The parents are speaking condescendingly, but I think the root of this is in the belief that girls are fragile and need to be protected. Lovelee herself says that just because she is a girl that does not mean that she is “defined as fragile”. Right before the fight boys, she is up against “wishes her luck”. This statement is the boy’s own learnt sexism. It may be unintentional, but I think that it is not born out of hatred. He is clearly ignorant about Lovelee and her skills at Taekwondo. Due to this ignorance, he is placing a sexist stereotype on Lovelee by assuming she is weaker than him. The boy’s sexism is “born out of ignorance, not malice” (tekanji, 2007). Lovelee breaks down this normative narrative by winning all her fights. She does not lose a single time. It is clear that even though she is a girl she is not weak or fragile in the slightest sense. It is important for women to break stereotypes of fragility. It is not dangerous to be feminine and fragile but it is the association of fragility with femininity that is dangerous. This association will constantly put women in positions where they are assumed to be weak or easy targets. I think that by winning all her fights Lovelee proves that femininity is not fragility. Hopefully, the boys she fought did not leave those fights with bitterness in their hearts, but with a new understanding of what femininity is. That being a girl is not a sign of weakness.

All of these stories deal with stereotypes placed on women. Lovelee deals with the association that femininity is a weakness, Taylor deals with statements that lessen her value as a human, and Francois learns about how others view women as fragile. Being a female does not lessen one’s value or predispose one to certain traits. Everyone has their own self-expression and it should not matter if that fits into the colonial gender binary.

References

tekanji. (2007). FAQ: What is “sexism”?. Retrieved 29 March 2021, from https://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/19/sexism-definition/