Gender binaries are a very prevalent thing in today’s society. In the article Girls Are Pink, Boys Are Blue: On Toddlers and Gender Roles, the author talks about her sister’s kids and how “they’re just starting to identify things as “for girls” or “for boys” (Smith, 2010). Even at a very young age these kids are determining what is “for girls” and what is “for boys”. These binaries limit people into thinking that there are only two genders and that you have to fit into every binary for your specific gender. These binaries are put in place to show the ideal attributes that gender (male or female) should hold. The thing is though, these binaries are unrealistic. In the video, A genderqueer activist explains what it means to be nonbinary on the gender spectrum the term non-binary is explained and said to be an identity where people live life and express themselves outside of the traditional binaries. With society changing every day why do people still follow the traditional ways of living that were created many years ago? 

i) Normative Narratives 

In Noelle’s story, she writes about a similar experience as I wrote about. Her story starts off by talking about how she was not like other girls at her school. “I loved playing sports such as football, even if it was just flag football” (Dyck, 2021). She expresses her frustration by talking about how she always had to defend the other girl on the team, if there was one, and not defend someone with a similar skill level. Later on, during her game, she tackles another player, which is not allowed and does not get a penalty. She was not treated fairly like the other players all because she was a female in a male-dominated sport. Noelle did not fit into the “normal” gender binary of being a female because she enjoyed playing sports such as football. 

In Gavin’s story, he writes about starting competitive dance at the age of eleven. To him, there was never a barrier seen due to his gender and the sport of dance that he did. But due to society’s gender binaries, the bullying started because he was a male in a “female sport”. There is one specific instance that he remembers where a male student said, “That sport is so girly and gay” (Fitch, 2021). This student had also done dance and had the audacity to make a comment about the sport of dance. This comment has stuck with him throughout the year because of the “disregard for the LGBTQ+ society and genders a sport and the people participating” (Fitch, 2021). Gavin did not fit into the “normal” gender binary of being a male all because he did the sport of dance which is considered a “female sport”. 

My story is similar to both Noelle’s and Gavin’s stories because I too did not fit into the “normal” gender binaries. What resonated with me the most about Noelle’s story was how I too was a female who enjoyed playing male-dominated sports such as football. I too was looking to be taken seriously by my male counterparts, which did not always happen all because I was a female on an all-female team. I also related to Gavin’s story because we both realized at the end of our stories that we performed the opposite of our gender roles. Gavin said, “Due to the norm around my town that boys don’t dance I was playing the direct opposite position of what I was supposed to play as a boy. The norm was boys played Hockey and Football and girls played Dance and Gymnastics. Thus I was performing the exact opposite of my genders role” (Fitch, 2021). I similarly said, “Up until this year, everyone hung out together and played together at school and gender didn’t matter. But now that we were in grade six that all suddenly changed. I wanted to play sport with the boys in my class and the girls all wanted to sit around and just talk. This was the year I truly noticed I didn’t fit into the ‘norm’ of being a girl” (Sharp, 2021). 

ii) Creating Counter-Stories: Disrupting Normative Narratives 

Morgan’s story shares a different view of the normative narrative shared in the previous three stories. In his story, he waits until the last day to buy his fifth grade crush a ring for valentine’s day. He does not want anyone to see him, so he gives up his recess after the perfect snowstorm just to buy this ring from the school fundraiser. He could not shake the feeling of what his friends would think if they see him in line to buy his crush this ring. While standing in line he began to think how “sappy” it was to buy his crush a ring and all at the expense of missing recess (Kilgour, 2021). He ended up leaving the line and grabbing his jacket to go join his friends. He ended his story by saying, “Even then, there was still a strange tugging in my stomach, wanting me to go back inside. Instead, I ran forth. That tugging feeling didn’t leave me, but at least I knew that I had performed my gender perfectly” (Kilgour, 2021). 

In the article, Girls Are Pink, Boys Are Blue: On Toddlers and Gender Roles, the author talks about a study done by Lise Eliot. Eliot did a study about sex roles where she saw how toddlers react when placed with different parents according to their sex role (Smith, 2010). This reminded me of Morgan’s story because he performed what is expected of his gender. He did not do the “sappy” thing of buying his crush a ring but instead went to go play outside (Kilgour, 2021). In the three previous stories, none of them had performed their gender perfectly, they had all done the opposite of the gender norms, and in Morgan’s story he had performed what is the norm for his gender; to not be “sappy” (Kilgour, 2021). Another article that reminds me of Morgan’s story is FAQ: What is “sexism”?, more specifically where it talks about compulsory gender roles. I feel that Morgan did what he did because the compulsory gender roles that are put out into society today say that males should not have feelings or care. Also, the idea that males have to be the ones to do these kinds of gestures is also an example of sexism and compulsory gender roles (tekanji, 2007).  

I chose to explore this normative narrative because each of the stories that I explored had different ideas of what it meant to represent their gender. In the first three stories, the gender binaries were not what is considered “normal” but they all continued to do what they were doing. There were times of doubt, like in Gavin’s story where he considered quitting dance because of the bullying, but he continued to do what he loved despite the comments (Fitch, 2021). In the fourth story, the idea of gender binaries was met with what society expects. In Morgan’s story, he represented what a “true male” should act by not be “sappy” and showing the emotions he had towards his fifth-grade crush (Kilgour, 2021).

References: 

Dyck, N. (2021, March 14). Self Story 4: That Was a Girl?! https://noelleseportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/03/14/self-story-4-that-was-a-girl/ 

Fitch, G. (2021, March 15). Self Story #4: Dancing Differently. https://edusites.uregina.ca/gavinfitch/ 

Kilgour, M. (2021, March 14). Writing the Self 4: The Valentine’s Ring. https://edusites.uregina.ca/morgankilgour/2021/03/14/writing-the-self-4-the-valentines-ring/ 

Sharp, E. (2021, March 15). Self-Story 4: The Football Team. https://edusites.uregina.ca/emmasharp/2021/03/15/self-story-4-the-football-team/ 

Smith, H. (2010, June 12). Girls Are Pink, Boys Are Blue: On Toddlers And Gender Roles. Jezebel. Retrieved March 29, 2021, from https://jezebel.com/girls-are-pink-boys-are-blue-on-toddlers-and-gender-r-5561837 

tekanji. (2007, October 19). FAQ: What is “sexism”? Finally, a Feminism 101 Blog. Retrieved March 29, 2021, from https://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/19/sexism-definition/ 

Vox. (2016, June 15). Queer 2.0: Life Outside the Gender Binary [Video]. Vox. https://www.vox.com/2016/6/15/11906704/genderqueer-nonbinary-lgbtq