My brother and I had been (trying) to stay on our best behaviour all morning and it started to show as lunch time began to draw near. He knew as well as I did that instead of our normal routine of biking home for a bologna sandwich and soup we were going to get a slice of pizza and a juice box. All we had left to do was wait the final minute for the bell to ring, then we would walk out and get it; he had been there this morning when I dropped off the signed note to the office on the way. We knew that this time it was our turn to sit down and enjoy it despite the fact we both hated Domino’s pizza. Instead of biking home and back we got to sit down with our friends and eat, we didn’t have to worry about getting back in time because class was steps away. 

Waiting for the bell to go off was always the hardest part in mind, you focused on each tick til it was a thunderous cacophony in your head even as your teacher’s still talking in the background but you don’t hear a word. I remember wondering if my brother had stayed out of trouble or he would miss his chance to get pizza spending lunch in the office, I hoped he had. As the seconds ticked down and rounded halfway I was left thinking about home and still the thought of that pizza. Remembering each and every time I had walked into the office empty handed and presented a note just like it, each time that I had been told no or apologized to and sent away, I wondered if anybody else had to do that. I knew that my sisters had had to bring the letters in before, I knew that this wasn’t a new situation to the school and I knew I wasn’t the one who did it when I was the younger brother. Snapped back to reality by the sound somebody opening a Chubby’s pop I looked up at the clock, 10 seconds to go and each dragged on longer than the last until finally …..RINNNNNNNG!

I leapt out the room with my backpack on my arm and went to stand in line as I saw other kids racing past. I turned around the corner joining the ever growing crowd and heard my brother following with his class somewhere behind me, a voice that I had heard for as long as I could remember and that stood out like a sore thumb to me in the crowd. I wait my turn and eventually I am up next for pizza! I say my name and after looking over the sheet I get given a slice of cheese pizza and a grape juice box so I saunter away to find somewhere to eat. Eventually I hear my brother telling the teacher in charge of pizza that day to fuck off and I see him grab some juice boxes and run away. After looking around outside I found him nearby stashed away in a place we enjoyed relaxing, there he explains that he was told he was not on the list and wouldn’t get anything and since she wouldn’t listen he grabbed some juice and ran. It left me angry and despite everything I had gone through that morning I ended up just giving him mine and heading back to class. I knew there wasn’t anything I could really do about it and felt helpless at the fact that was just how life was for us there. This was what we were born into and, like many things that we had no hand in deciding, was just another part of a life that we try to live.