Sometimes it takes somebody you care about saying something in order for you to really notice it properly. You can walk through the same path a million times over and never see a specific aspect of it because you failed to look at it from the right perspective, learning about gender can be a lot like that at times. I regularly walked with my friend Abby from school to the station and if it got dark I would head back with her to make sure she got back alright. During one of these late night walks to the station she thanked me as we waited under the neon timer sign showing six minutes. She was happy for me heading back with her because she said it made her feel safe, she said it was nice to not have to worry about anything on the way home. I assumed she meant that it was getting dark outside and teased her but that wasn’t the case. She told me of some of the experiences her and her female friends had had in the past at the stations and just in walking home; the constant catcalls and being approached by people that don’t want to go, she explained how often her and her sister walked together to get things from the store because it made these experiences less likely. 

The honest truth of the matter is that I had walked her home each time because she was my best friend but I had not considered how different the view of things were from her perspective. I considered it just being nice as I had walked through those same streets and stations countless times following Stampede without any real issues. I had never thought about needing a chaperone or companion to go places in order to secure my safety I had never needed to. Abby and her friends always ensured they had a ride back or group that they were travelling with whereas I as a man had never had to worry about it for more than a brief moment or encounter here and there. Sometimes being a guy by meant that by default I did not have to worry or even consider some things that others had to. Not everybody was able to look at things from my perspective because they did not have the same advantages I did. Encounters with drunks and rowdy crowds was a nuisance to me sure but I rarely had to consider my safety while dealing with them and my tall build kept most away; where I saw paths to walk and people to mutually ignore she saw dangerous areas that she would rather avoid. To me it at first seemed ridiculous because I wasn’t any older than her, nor stab proof to say the least, but I didn’t experience life the same way she did. I had my own set of challenges and difficulties but there were some like these that her, her friends, my sisters, and so many more girls had to deal with; challenges and setbacks that I would never have to, and that left me with something to think about.