When I was 11 years old I started competitive dance. I’ve had never seen gender as a barrier for any reason. My local dance club at this point only had one male competitive dancer, me. This led to a lot of bullying in and out of school. The kids my age and older thought dance was a “girls sport.”
“Football and Hockey are for boys not dance.”
“That’s a girls sport. Why are you even in it?”
These comments and questions became a daily occurrence in my life. Comments like these mixed with the fact that I was the only boy participating in the sport made me think I should really quit the sport.
One instance I remember quite well is when a kid in the class below me made fun of me for dancing even though he had competed in Highland dancing before I even considered joining dance.
I remember him once saying;
“That sport is so girly and gay.”
This comment in specific has stuck with me throughout the years because it comes with blatant disregard for the LGBTQ+ society and genders a sport and the people participating. There is also a steep double standard in his words as he competed in dance himself just a couple of years before the incident.
As I look back on these memories I see that as children we were gendering a sport and in doing so gendering the people participating in the sport.
Due to the norm around my town that boys don’t dance I was playing the direct opposite position of what I was supposed to play as a boy. The norm was boys played Hockey and Football and girls played Dance and Gymnastics. Thus I was performing the exact opposite of my genders role.
Thank you for your post, Gavin. From the beginning of your story, when you explained that you started dancing when you were 11, I became curious about your dancing. What type of dance do you practice? Do you still dance? While your post is not a snapshot of a specific moment in time, the specific memory you shared along with the resonating quote, “That sport is so girly and gay” does help to paint a clear picture of gender issues. When you mention that this comment gendered the sport, I was struck by my own thoughts of experiences that I have had or witnessed. There are plenty of unfair practices in children’s sports. I am grateful to be on this journey with you toward a brighter future for all kids.