This past week, I have been doing Macbeth homework with my son in Grade 10. I will not lie; I wasn’t thrilled when we started this, as I struggle to read it in a way that isn’t choppy and confusing. After talking with the teacher, he gave us a site that we could listen to and answer the questions. This took this experience from a not-fun one to an enjoyable one. Due to reading Shakespeare, I decided to twist some of his wording.

Now, onto the part of being broken or unbroken. I am going to be very brutally honest and vulnerable with what I share. In the last 14 years, I have experienced a wide variety of different losses, traumas, and difficult times. I have worked hard at holding it together for everyone around me in the world. I have been the shoulder to cry on and would bury my emotions in order to help those I care about.

I have allowed myself only a little time to deal with my own grief. I do not want to open wounds that are partially healed but would rather continue on the road that I am on.

So, here are a few of the things I have been dealing with:

1. My husband had brain surgery 14 years ago (our oldest was 9.5 months old)
2. Numerous deaths of loved ones: My dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friend, our pet dog, etc.
3. Going from a teacher to Principal of a school. Not having my dad to talk to during difficult times.
4. Having a teenager and learning to navigate that journey.
5. The list goes on and on…

Since the beginning of the year I have been feeling that I am more broken than not. I have questioned if I can get back to the place I was before. It has taken courage on my part to reach out to family and co-workers to ask for them to send positive vibes, prayers and thoughts my way as I navigate through this difficult time. I started to open up to a small group of people.

This past work I was given a number of different signs that things were about to change and if I was willing to accept the help I could begin to truly mend my broken heart.

The first of the signs was a Facebook message in our family chat group from my one older brother. He talked about how important mental health is and how so many have struggled with this since COVID. He shared how if any of us needed someone to talk to that he was always there for us and would be an ear to listen. He also shared numbers and websites for us.

1. Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868. Text 686868.
2. Kids Help Phone Website
3. Getting Therapy or Pay Rent? (Article)
   1. This article opened my eyes to everything that I am dealing with and how there needs to be a change in our mindset towards taking care of our mental health

The second sign was that there was a a guest speaker at the high school and she also did a presentation in the evening for the community. Her name is Tiff Carson and she is a former resident for Shaunavon. She is an author, podcast host, and speaker. She talks about grieve and addiction and how to heal. I went and listened to her presentation and came away feeling that the load I was carrying was a little lighter. She is the author of Dancing in the Rain. One big take away I had from Tiff’s presentation is that we need to stop avoiding and start talking. Nothing gets better when we sweep it under the rug.

The third was that I had seen at the school posters and business cards to family counselling. I decided to make a call and take the first step towards my own healing. I went and at the beginning the marks that I gave myself were 2-3’s and when I was done I was a 9. I felt at peace and like I was now on the journey towards my own healing.

If you are to look up ‘Mental Health Services in Saskatchewan‘ this is the first link that shows up. It is through the Government of Saskatchewan.

I also looked up 211 Saskatchewan as this had been shared with me as a resource to find supports for my journey. This is both a phone number and a website which will help you to find services near you to help you on your mental health journey.

We need to change the stigma about seeking help and going to talk to someone. It does not make a person weak to seek help. I want to encourage each of you to take care of yourself and your health and to not be afraid to ask for help if you are in need.

In the past I have encouraged my staff and friends to take care of themselves. I knew that I needed to do this for myself and my family but felt guilty as it meant that I wasn’t going to be able to be at the school and do my job. I felt that I was letting people down. A co-worker spoke to me as not only a colleague but also a friend and encouraged me to take two days so that I could deal with my mental health and I could take care of my family and to not worry about school as they could take care of everyone there.

Are there other resources, sites, phone numbers that you think would be beneficial for people to access? Is there are way that we can help and change the stigma behind mental health?

Know that no matter what there are people out there that care about you and want the best for you. Find ways in which you can work through your stress, loss and lived experiences. This can be through journaling, practicing your breathing, talking to someone you trust, putting a name to your situation, meditation, spending time outside, doing something creative and so many others.  (When I am the most stressed I take out activities in which I am able to be creative: crocheting, painting, drawing, embroidery, sewing, resin work, etc. this helps me to become regrounded)

Here is to putting the pieces of my broken self back together and becoming unbroken once again. I know that in order for me to be able to fully help those around me I need to first take care of myself. Please make sure that you are each putting aside a little bit of time each day for yourself. I want the best for each of you and your families!