Childhood today looks very different than it did 25 years ago, and one of the biggest changes is technology, not just social media. I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past few weeks about how childhood in the 21st century seems to look so different from what I remember of my own childhood. In class, we spent several sessions discussing and debating a burning question: Is social media ruining childhood? I took a stance on the disagreeing (that social media isn’t the bad guy) side of the fence, but I think that, if anything, doing the work to argue for both sides really did open my eyes.
What I Learned from the “Social Media Is Ruining Childhood” Side
One of the most impactful pieces of evidence presented by Kaela and Mike on the “agree” side was the undeniable impact that social media can have on children from an emotional and mental health standpoint. Watching the podcast episode with Sharon McMahon, Dr. Becky Kennedy shared that not only can social media be overstimulating for children’s nervous systems, but also that it can disrupt children’s emotional regulation in a variety of ways. I had never considered how overwhelming it must be for very young children to experience that level of social comparison on a constant basis.
I also thought the Matthew McConaughey interview was incredibly powerful. He said children today ask “What do you think of me?” rather than “Who do I want to be?” I mean, come on, that is one of the best zingers I have ever heard. The most powerful thing for me about that moment was that it really brought home the idea that social media encourages children to focus on external validation rather than internal discovery. But it is not just the anecdotal. There is hard science out there as well. The pair of articles from JAMA Pediatrics is especially compelling in that it documents a correlation between increased screen time and a rise in depression and anxiety in teens. Mike and Kaela really did a strong one on this debate, as I was almost convinced, especially when they indicated the effect and to what extent the parental control can be effective on children who know their absolute right on things.
What I Learned from the “Disagree” Side (The Side I and Carol Debated)
As I said before, I think the “disagree” side of the argument is important and offers important caveats to a one-sided argument. I got to argue for the “don’t judge social media too harshly” side, and I think it really made me see that, like anything, the medium has a time and place and need not be seen as black and white. I especially appreciated the article from InternetMatters.org that breaks down how social media can, in the right context, offer young people space to feel connected, explore their identity and passions, and build digital literacy. I also really, really like the work of Jonathan Haidt, who took on the common narrative that social media is the driving force behind poor teen mental health in this Wired article. I think he has a great point in saying that, no, the story is far more complex, and we risk solving for one variable when the issue of teenagers and mental health is actually more multi-layered. This Wired piece helped me see how much things like parenting practices, school, and other societal norms and expectations can play into the current “teen mental health crisis.”
We also got into a book called The New Childhood, by Jordan Shapiro, which reframed the entire way I think about the debate around the benefits or detriments of screen time. He argues that children’s digital play is not that different from how we have always thought of childhood play; children just have different toys now. I thought that was especially helpful in the way of flipping the conversation from “screen time is bad” to how adults can parent and educate alongside the development of digital tools and resources.
My Takeaway: Balance and Boundaries Are Key
To be honest, I think the question is not so much whether social media is “good” or “bad.” It’s more about how to use it and how to help children manage their experiences with it. I think really looking at both sides helped me to realize that the single biggest risk factor is not so much social media in and of itself, but rather when children are on those platforms without guidance and without limits, without understanding of the emotional cost it can have on children’s brains.
If anything, this activity helped crystallize for me the importance of media literacy from an early age, as well as having the patience and awareness to create the boundaries that feel right for your child. It’s possible that social media has become a part of childhood, but that does not mean we can’t be proactive about making that childhood as healthy as possible.
Hi Nofisat,
Thanks for such a thoughtful reflection and a very well researched and argued debate! I really appreciate how you explored both sides of the debate with such openness for this reflection post. Like you, I don’t think the issue is whether social media is purely good or bad—it’s about how it’s used, and whether kids have the support they need to navigate it.
In our presentation, Mike and I focused on how apps like TikTok and Instagram are designed to override self-control and fuel comparison. Even strong parenting can’t fully protect kids from platforms built to keep them hooked. That’s why we argue for clearer age guidelines—just like we have for driving or voting—because younger children simply aren’t developmentally ready for those pressures.
That said, you and Carol did a fantastic job showing how social media can build connection, creativity, and digital literacy—especially for older kids with strong support systems. Your mention of The New Childhood was such a great reminder that play has just evolved—it hasn’t disappeared.
As a teacher and a parent of young kids, I’ve seen both the potential and the pitfalls. What it comes down to is intentionality—supporting kids to use tech with purpose, not passively. Thanks again for sharing your insights and helping keep this conversation grounded and real.
– Kaela
Thank you so much for this kind and insightful response! I really appreciated how you and Mike tackled the “behind-the-scenes” mechanics of platforms like TikTok and Instagram—it was a powerful reminder that these apps are designed to keep us scrolling, and that alone makes them a unique challenge for kids. I completely agree with your point about developmentally appropriate boundaries—age guidelines for tech use make just as much sense as they do for driving or voting. No matter how supportive a parent or teacher is, we can’t ignore the built-in pressures kids face online.
It was great to explore this topic from different angles with you. I came away from the debate with a deeper appreciation for nuance, and I think we’re all ultimately striving for the same thing: to help kids navigate digital spaces safely, creatively, and with confidence. Thanks again for pushing the conversation forward!
I love how this post stirred up the classic social media debate! I was definitely waving the “social media is ruining childhood” flag high — call me the digital curmudgeon if you will . Nosifit, you were over there playing the optimistic cheerleader, saying it’s all sunshine and learning rainbows online.
But let’s be real — I stand by my side! Sure, social media has its perks, but those endless scrolls, the peer pressure, and the “Can I please just not see another dance challenge?” moments? Yeah, not exactly what childhood was meant to be.
Still, got to admit, Nosifit’s point about guided use and digital literacy is solid. Maybe the truth’s somewhere in the middle—just gotta keep those screen times in check before our kids turn into full-time TikTok stars or meme lords. Thanks for the great read and the laughs!
Haha, I’m definitely wearing that “optimistic cheerleader” badge with pride! 😄 But I get where you’re coming from the endless scrolling and viral chaos can make you long for the good old days of playing outside until the streetlights came on. Your “digital curmudgeon” flag is flying with flair, and I respect it!
That said, I’m glad we can meet in the middle to a guided use, balanced screen time, and digital literacy might just be the secret sauce. Let’s raise a generation that can do a TikTok dance and build a fort out of couch cushions. Appreciate the laugh and your honest take!