I am the product of a settler, colonial education system. After decades of believing I knew the truth of Canadian History, I found the narrative I thought to be true was a lie. Years after watching my girls walk through the same system, I discovered through my university courses that Indigenous history has been “whitewashed”. My family has experienced racism; however, my childhood education did not inform me of the depth of it; the camps, the number systems, the loss of land, the loss of languages, the horrible abuses which Indigenous peoples lived through in the residential schools, of how parents lost their children, and sometimes never saw them again. Residential schools were poorly funded, and children were inadequately fed. Children were often sick, and because there were no isolation rooms, many children died. Children who died while at school were often buried in unmarked graves like the ones at the Regina Residential School on Pinkie road. Parents were often not notified. (Niessen,2017) “It is estimated that 6000 children died in Indian residential schools often from epidemics of tuberculosis and scrofula, influenza and measles” (Niessen,2017, p. 21).
My own daughters could have been residential school victims. The last one closed in 1996. My eldest daughter was born in 1998. As it was, they heard the words “squaw” and “Indian” in school far too often. Eurocentric education was not good for them either. Two daughters dropped out before grade eleven. One graduated because of the encouragement of an Indigenous art teacher, Mr. Benjo. Thanks to his encouragement she is now a professional artist.
When I think of residential schools, I experience overwhelming sadness. The testimonies of residential school survivors break my heart. An elder told an interviewer in the video Muffins for Granny, “What I really can’t get over is ugh, I guess the white people? They didn’t like us too much” (McLaren, 2007). She based that assessment on horrible abuse in the residential school. Sadly, she was right. Another survivor, Ralph Johnson was in so much emotional pain because of his time in residential school that he shot himself despite the priest telling him that his flesh would burn forever.
I thought about pulling it, and I decided to press the trigger. I could stand my flesh burning forever and ever, but I couldn’t stand what was happening in my life and the way I was affected by the things that were happening around me (McLaren, 2007).
I feel split down the middle. I am two people. I am still trying to process how half of my family was responsible for so much pain while the other half suffers. How do I reconcile the anger and sadness in my spirit with the need to move on with reconciliation and with calls to action? How do I move forward while my daughters still struggle with micro aggressions or Indigenous women still die in hospitals because of racism or reserves struggle for clean water? How do I transfer these thoughts into the classroom so that I can provide a safe and holistic environment for a diverse group of students? These are my struggles as I move through my reconciliation. Some of the amazing survivors from residential schools lead us in the ways of healing. “Through truth we will understand. Through understanding we will embark upon a path of healing, forgiveness and reconciliation.”-George Angeconeb (Maclaren, 2007)
When I think of reconciliation, I think of humbleness, the ability for all of us to realize that we are treaty people, the understanding that settlers need to acknowledge the privilege we have as we enjoy this land: Turtle Island. In order for “friendly relations” to be restored, there needs to be an openness of hearts and an openness of spirits, a willingness to learn, to hear truth and tell the truth. Charlene Bearhead calls reconciliation a shift in who we are, and says that reconciliation is different for everyone. We have the opportunity be the “anti-residential” school. Residential schools promoted colonization, assimilation and oppression. We have the opportunity to open minds, enlighten students and let them decide what form their reconciliation will take. (Reconciliation Education, nd.) I have let this idea inform my perceptions of how my reconciliation may take place. I will teach the truth; I will teach respect and I hope I will teach justice.
Information from this course has informed my knowledge on different ways of knowing, seeing and teaching. Education is colonizing. Part of my challenge is to decolonize learning in the classroom space. From an Indigenous perspective, life is education. Indigenous students may not do well in a Eurocentric colonial classroom. For many students, this will not be the way they learned at home. For many of their parents, school is a reminder of the negative experiences associated with residential schools. I need to consider their perspective. Some teachers have moved to a more two-eyed way of seeing education, by practicing indigenous ways of being in the classroom. Students are allowed to move around the room, sit in reading corners, interacting with teacher and each other while practicing hands on learning. Lessons don’t need to stay in the classroom. Professor Fatima Pirbhai-Illich calls this bounded openness. It is organic, moveable, welcoming and hospitable. Having a welcoming classroom also means having a relationship with the teacher. There should be trust and a mutual sharing of information. (Flexible Learning Division U of R, 2020) Students are not just empty vessels to be filled with knowledge. Learning should be shared by both teacher and student. Languages other then English should be allowed in the classroom, so that all students can feel they are welcome. Knowledge has traditionally been seen as static in Eurocentric models of learning. Information comes in a book, and may stay the same for a long time. An Indigenous view says that knowledge is always moving and changing. Curriculum can be adjusted to suit students in the classroom, to match different needs and orientations. These ways of seeing can also be reconciliation.
My intention going forward is to decolonialize the classroom for my future students of all nationalities. All students deserve the opportunity to learn the true history of Turtle Island, and the right to choose their own reconciliation. According to the Final Report of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission 2015,
- Reconciliation must inspire aboriginal and non-aboriginal to transform Canadian Society so that our children and grandchildren can live together in dignity, peace, and prosperity in these lands we now share. (Truth and Reconciliation Commission Canada, 2015, p. 114)
- Reciprocity and mutual respect help sustain our survival. It is this kind of healing and survival that is needed in moving forward from the residential school experience. (Truth and Reconciliation Commission Canada, 2015, p. 129)
- By establishing a new and respectful relationship between Aboriginal and non-aboriginal Canadians, we will restore what must be restored, repair what must be repaired, and return what must be returned. (Truth and Reconciliation Commission Canada, 2015 p. 1)
As for me, my journey to Reconciliation is not done. It may change over time, but for now I am still learning. Education is a life long journey. I would like to thank my professors Julie Machnaik and Dr. Fatima Pirbhai-Illich in this ECS 101 course for challenging us, respecting our walk and encouraging us on our individual journeys. We are all treaty peoples.
References
94 calls to action, 3 ways to get started. (n.d.). 94 Calls to Action, 3 Ways to Get Started. Retrieved November 8, 2020, from https://www.folio.ca/94-calls-to-action-3-ways-to-get-started
Flexible Learning Division U of R. (2020). 2020/01/28 – ECS 100 – Fatima Pirbhai Illich [YouTube Video]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUpMVIgNvK8&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=FlexibleLearningDivisionUofR
McLaren, nadia. (2007). University of Regina Library Authentication. Login.Libproxy.Uregina.Ca. https://media3-criterionpic-com.libproxy.uregina.ca/htbin/wwform/006?T=MON1671&ALIAS=MON1671_EN.KF&M=0_ha1trbf8&DSTYLE=0#multimedia_resources_MON1671
Niessen, S. (2017). Shattering the Silence: The hidden history of Indian residential schools in Saskatchewan. Faculty of Education, University of Regina.
Reconciliation Education. (n.d.). Reconciliation Education. https://www.reconciliationeducation.ca
Truth and Reconciliation Commission Canada. (2015). What We Have Learned Principles of Truth and Reconciliation. http://www.trc.ca/assets/pdf/Principles%20of%20Truth%20and%20Reconciliation.pdf
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