Writing the Self Analysis: Gender
i) Normative Narratives
Reading my peers’ self stories made me realize how common it is to do things outside of your gender role and how common it is to be scrutinized because of it. In my self-story, I wrote of playing with worms, which is something you would not think a little girl would do. I used to play with them quite often until other girls who lived on the block told me that was not a girly thing to do. I did not stop playing with worms and insects because I decided that it wasn’t something I wanted to do anymore; instead, that was decided for me. It is outside of the gender norm for girls to be playing with insects, and it is seen as something boys would do. This normative narrative was taught to my friends from a young age, and they felt that I did not fit in with the norm as I should be.
Sierra’s story cemented this.
“as much as you don’t want to hear it, it’s because you’re younger and a woman, so you shouldn’t know about vehicles.”
Sierra’s Self Story
Sierra’s blog shows the normative narratives others have for women in male-dominated trades. Although qualified for her job, men would question what she knows. Men refused to accept that she could understand what she was talking about and would ask for a man to come to speak with them. When told the same thing Sierra had told them, by male co-workers, the customers were happy. Sierra’s co-worker told her, “as much as you don’t want to hear it, it’s because you’re younger and a woman, so you shouldn’t know about vehicles.” This personal story shows the normative narrative around gender in action. Women are dismissed, saying that their knowledge could not be right when it is in a male-dominated field. Because it is not a typical female interest or career path, it is assumed women cannot know what they are talking about and are valued as lesser than their male co-workers.
I can connect to this feeling as well. My dad owns an autobody shop, and when I offer suggestions, I am often dismissed. One particular time when my female friend had hit a fox, I told her that although it did not look too bad on the outside, her radiator might have been hit, and if so, the car is probably totalled as it was an old car. Even she dismissed this, and when her car was appraised a week later, she found out that the radiator had been hit and the car was totalled.
Sierra’s story shows how people expect others to perform within their gender roles, and when they step outside of it, people feel threatened.
“I thought to myself ‘this was a close one, I can’t keep letting them do this to me. I can’t get caught by my dad’.”
Reece’s Self Story
Reece’s story depicts how the same normative narrative works for males. Reece talks of how his sisters would dress him up, and he was fine with it until his parents got home, and he worried about what they would think, more specifically, his dad. He writes that “I thought to myself ‘this was a close one, I can’t keep letting them do this to me. I can’t get caught by my dad’.” It is what other people think that drive this normative narrative. We are expected to perform inside our gender roles, and when that doesn’t happen, people tend to criticize. From a young age, we are taught to perform our gender roles, and Reece’s story shows the fear of not following those roles. Reece’s story also shows how boys are supposed to present themselves as manly, especially in front of other men. This trait for many carries into adulthood and I have seen the expectation of how male friends act around other males versus when they are just with female friends.
Familiar narratives are instilled in people from youth, as demonstrated in Reece’s story as well as mine. Sierra’s story showed an older generation’s perspective on gender, and it is the ideas of this generation that pass down to the youth of today.
ii) Creating counter-stories: Disrupting normative narratives
Each of our stories works to dispute the narrative and show that no activity is for only one gender. It is the customers in Sierra’s story that display the belief of the myth, as Sierra works to challenge it. It is the fear of what Reece’s dad will think about him playing dress-up with his sisters that makes Reece uncomfortable. It was the criticism of my friends that made me stop playing and being interested in insects. Gender is socially constructed, and children are taught from a young age what they should do to fit into this gender. The gender binary is dangerous and forces individuals to conform to narratives and change their behaviours. As stated in this article;
“As Eliot tells Helena de Bertodano of the Times of London, the brains of boys and girls aren’t really that different after all; it’s the social conditioning they receive that makes them pick up and internalize gender roles.”
Girls Are Pink, Boys Are Blue: On Toddlers And Gender Roles
In this article, the author introduces her niece and nephew and shows how her nephew does not know what is marketed for girls or boys yet. It is with age that children are taught what roles they should fit into. The author states the importance for everyone as a collective to challenge gender roles, and it is not just an issue for parents.
“But unless the rest of the world joins in, children are going to be faced with, say, classmates who pull a truck from a girl’s hands and yell, ‘This is a boy’s toy!'”
Girls Are Pink, Boys Are Blue: On Toddlers And Gender Roles
This quote highlights my experience of having a friend tell me that I should not play with insects. Children learn these gender norms as they grow up, and only when every single person can stop commenting and reinforcing gender norms, can we truly break the binary and the false sense of having to fit into specific gender roles.
References
Smith, H. (2010). Girls are pink, boys are blue: On toddlers and gender roles. Retrieved from https://jezebel.com/girls-are-pink-boys-are-blue-on-toddlers-and-gender-r-5561837
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