Giving Myself Grace

PSA: This post is going to talk about mental wellness. We all know why our reading week in February falls when it does and this year I really felt it. While part of my brain is always waging a war against me, I felt the battle raging this week. I had plans to film and edit a crocheting vlog, as we were advised to take advantage of the extra time the break allowed us to showcase our project in a way we have not yet explored. I actually did begin filming a vlog, but I barely crocheted in it and while I know that crocheting is not the be all end all of this project, what I did film was hardly coherent and editing it seemed too big of a mountain for me to climb. What I did instead was give myself some grace. I did tasks that brought me joy and didn’t seem too exhaustive in mind. I worked on a puzzle, painted a hallway in my home, painted and hung shelves in my living room, and walked my dog a lot. These tasks were unrelated to coursework and therefore felt attainable, as I did not have the mental struggle of perfection weighing down on me. I focused on myself and did what I needed to do in order to feel better. 

I have a few “rules” for myself that I try to adhere pretty strictly to in order to maintain my mental health, which are:

1. Take my medication before 8:00am. I see a massive difference in my day when I do this. 
2. Shower everyday. Personal hygiene is one of the first things that falls to the wayside when my mental health dips, so maintaining it is important for me to avoid freefall. 
3. Eat. Again, my eating really dwindles along with my mental health, so it is important for me to keep eating to stay mentally and physically healthy. Of course, not eating greatly contributes to negative mental health, so I always need to remind myself to “feed the machine”. 
4. Walk everyday. Exercise greatly contributes to a positive mental state. I heard a reference once while listening to a podcast with Jason Segel where he said something along the lines of, if your dog was depressed and you took it to the vet, the vet would ask how often you walk your dog and if you replied never, well maybe that’s where you should start… I take this advice and apply it to myself. Fresh air and exercise are critical, and my dog deserves a good walk every single day.

I did attempt a crochet project this week, but it didn’t turn out which was frustrating and I decided not to continue pushing it. I initially found this blog post that detailed the pattern for a crocheted vest. The blog referred me to another blog with a pattern of a specific granny square. The pattern/post was not as detailed as I typically like them to be. For example, the creator would neglect to mention specific steps even though the pattern was labelled “classic granny square”, which I incorrectly assumed to mean “easy” or “beginner”. My square turned out all disproportionate and lumpy even after restarting the square a few times and counting and recounting my stitches. 

All in, this week was a bit unproductive in regards to my learning project, but while I may not have accomplished what I set out to do, I did make a post. I also prioritized my mind over my coursework which is a big accomplishment for me in the recognition of what is going to benefit me most. I do still want to make a crocheting vlog at some point and I am excited to still have the opportunity to do so! 

Take care out there friends!