Finding My Groove (Again)

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I believe in lifelong learning as more than a guiding principle for staying current in today’s world. There is a lot more to lifelong learning than one may think. Whether it is learning a new skill, brushing up on old skills, or branching out into a totally new direction, lifelong learning focuses on the processes of learning, not necessarily the finished product. Learning can be very uncomfortable and messy, and often times downright difficult.

Once again being back in university has surfaced feelings of inadequacy and impostership, which often gets the hamster wheels turning for me. In the first class of EC&I 834, I have to admit, I felt a bit on the outside of the container and that maybe what I thought would be a seamless reentry back into university would be a bit more challenging than I anticipated. It brought me back to my thesis writing where I focused quite a bit of energy around Brookfield’s (2006) ‘Imposter Syndrome’, which I felt creeping in once again.

To me, impostership is the feeling of being inadequate, the feeling that someone is going to call you out on your perspectives, the feeling of walking the walk but not exactly sure that you can talk the talk. However, sometimes having a refocusing moment to yourself to pump your tires back up is all that you may need. I appreciated Wood’s (2020) article: If You Struggle with Impostership Syndrome, You’re in Good Company. Try This. because it reminded me of the many times I felt like an imposter and all the ways that I adapted and conquered.

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Although at times I feel uncomfortable, I know that the most authentic learning occurs during those times. Balancing being a first-time mom, while being back at work full time and taking a university course and more, are all things on my plate that I have to balance. Learning in different spaces, and different disciplines are also somethings that I have to wrap my head around, but I am excited that I have the opportunity to do so.

In this course, I hope to learn the following:

  • How to implement additional technology into my everyday teaching practices online and in person, that fosters student growth and achievement.
  • To have a better understanding of what technology is available and how to use it properly, and to brush up on my skills that I have not put into practice for a while.
  • Make connections with other educators to see how they utilize technology in their teaching practices, as well as to be a part of a supportive community of practice.
  • Push me outside of my comfort zone, and embrace all of the difficulties of learning new things and feeling vulnerable.
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Although I have big goals for this course, I know that learning does not happen overnight and most definitely will not happen by completing one course. However, learning is a journey and this is my starting point. I once had a teacher that said, ‘do not worry about the finish line, when you have not even started yet. Begin at the beginning, commence at the commencement, start at the start.’ Throughout this, I hope to continue to learn and be as present as possible. I know there are going to be hills and valleys, but I am so excited to bring my new learning into my classroom and to share it with all my kiddos. Learning needs to be shared, and our kiddos in our classrooms need to see that we too can learn, be vulnerable, and be in positions where we aren’t the ‘experts’.

4 thoughts on “Finding My Groove (Again)

  1. I love your message that it’s important to be vulnerable and open with our students, and to admit that we aren’t experts at everything. That opens the doors to learning from and alongside them. I also appreciate you sharing your experiences with imposter syndrome. I didn’t realize how common this feeling/experience was until fairly recently, but it’s definitely something I have struggled with too. Also, I didn’t realize this is your second Master’s program – that’s awesome!

    P.S. Your website looks awesome. And thanks for introducing me to Pexels!

    1. Thanks Raquel for stopping in! Impostership is a real thing that so many people feel, and as so afraid to talk about. Personally, I feel it often, and I think that it comes with critically examining your perspectives and worldviews regularly. I think if we aren’t feeling somewhat vulnerable, we aren’t pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones. Although our comfort zones are safe, we don’t necessarily learn more than what we have already brought to the table.

      Raquel, thanks again for sharing your vulnerabilities with me, and that you too have felt like an imposter before. If you ever need to hash out ideas, let me know!

  2. Hey Kelly, it was great to reconnect with you the other day. Thanks for being forward, as I too thought you looked familiar. I would have to agree with Raquel that your page looks great, you have raised the bar and I have some work to do! I look forward to connecting with you throughout the semester.

    1. Gerod, thanks for the compliment. I think that you are being too hard on yourself. Your blog looks fantastic! It is great catching up with you too. It’s so funny how small Saskatchewan really is. It’s neat to be able to take courses 10 years later with some people again.

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